March 30th, 2008, 7:16 pm
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From the Author
March 30th, 2008, 7:19 pm
176 My favorite sound effect, the all purpose ZASH! makes a return! woo-hoo!

the action in the last two panels isn't so great, but i'm trying to remember the useful advice i got back when adrian fought ms. oak. I always enjoy constructive criticism, but I especially need it for action and fight scenes. hint, hint!
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Ghost the Echidna
March 30th, 2008, 8:53 pm
I too suck at action scenes. Can't draw one to save my life.
I do know this: Speed lines add great effect.
Cheza (Guest)
March 30th, 2008, 9:42 pm
lol that was kinda anti-climatic XD it was just like "Scratch." and they're both just standing there. lol I do like the panel with Jade though. Jade's super cute ^^
Cheza (Guest)
March 30th, 2008, 9:47 pm
sorry i just now read the "constructive criticism" part!!!

ok the eyes- In the second to last panel the one starting the fight NEEDS intense eyes. He doesn't even have them in the second. And the eyes are the basic importance- if they look intense, the panel will look more intense. Also, you did the action/fast lines in the first panel; that's also good to use to show he's really scratching him quick!

Also use hot colors in the background. You used... two cool colors.... lol. Use reds, oranges, yellow, the like. I know it kinda... clashes with both of their shirts though.... wowwwww... even his hair- oh goodness haha you colored yourself into a corner. So I understand that color scheme I guess. But instead of showing the two in the foreground- Jade and Angela like that- have them in separate panels with the bold colors looking shocked and running and stuff. It lessens the focus of the intensity of the other two when you throw two non-action characters in with two action characters.

Hope I helped a bit. :)
March 31st, 2008, 1:08 am
Uhm, wow. 0_o i wish i could give as much advice as Cheza up there, but all I can think of suggesting is having one pert of the body all speedy and the rest still. I always did like that effect. ^_^
March 31st, 2008, 4:06 am
I think it looks good
llednarb KAF
March 31st, 2008, 9:53 am
in the last two panels the guy in the yellow shirt (i'm having a mental block and can't remember his name) his mouth looks kind of sleepy instead of scary and attack-like
Shadow (Guest)
March 31st, 2008, 1:57 pm
He's being controlled, remember. So it's fairly natural he'd look somewhat asleep.

And poor Jade. I don't think she likes the fighting...
March 31st, 2008, 2:39 pm

I think the entire page looks really good except for that third panel. The big thing that confuses me is why Jade running away is more important than Adrian getting whacked. As somebody said: anti-climatic. So much build-up and then it was like a scratch is all. I agree with everything Cheeza said too.

Basically: Adrian getting hit should take up a lot more room and probably with some really cool action lines. Not sure how you drew the action lines in the first panel, but they're kinda getting lost (too faded).
March 31st, 2008, 4:48 pm
I think you did good with the action...it's nice to see some! great job on this page, btw
April 3rd, 2008, 6:30 pm
replies @tyto alba: well, maybe you can learn along with me! ^^

@Ghostie: They can, but I don't want to over do them...

@Cheza: Thank you for the useful comments ^^
As for the eyes, he's being controlled, so I'm trying not to convey emotion. And for the colors, I was trying for lots of bold colors, but you do have a point about warm colors being more actiony. Again, thank you for you helpful comment ^_^

@BellaMai: Hm, yeah, that IS a pretty neat effect. I'll remember that.

@LToEV: Thanks ^^

@llednarb KAF: Yeah, he's been hypnotized, so he *should* look kinda sleepy and out of it

@Shadow: no, she doesn't

@Cave: Thanks! yeah, I see your point about anti-climatic. I knew those panels didn't work, and know I think I know why. Thanks again ^^

@takashinakamaura: thanks :)